SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT

I know this has been discussed before, but why is God's name is this joker still on our beloved Twins major league roster???

Gardy?

Billy Smith?

dmk?

GldnKnight?

Anyone???

Oh, and don't hold your breath for dmk's suggestion to possibly trade and bring in Freddy Sanchez, Felipe Lopez or even the M's Jose Lopez because it ain't happening. Let's just hope Alexi Casilla can wake up and contribute to this team following next week's All-Star Break.

Wild And Wacky Wins

Over the last few months, I've pretty much ignored talking about the Marlins on here, because nobody cares, even if they are only two games out of the NL East lead. But tonight's Marlins-Diamondbacks game was wild enough to warrant mentioning here.

Due to control problems, Marlins SP Andrew Miller was chased in the top of the third (in a very imperfect comparison, Miller's kinda like a wilder Liriano). Marlins RP Burke Badenhop, a surprisingly effective long reliever, entered the game in the top off the third. Then, the following sequence of events happened:

Bottom of fifth: Badenhop's hit in the leg with a nasty line drive. He limps off the field without throwing another pitch. Diamondbacks pile on another run to take 7-0 lead.

Top of Sixth: Marlins scratch out three runs, narrow lead to 7-3.

Top of Seventh: Marlins load the bases with nobody out, yet somehow manage to come away with only one run. Diamondbacks lead 7-4 heading into bottom of seventh.

Top of Eighth: Marlins, again, load bases with nobody out, including a pinch hit single from Hanley Ramirez, who was making his first game appearance in about a week. This time, Marlins capitalize, to the tune of 10 runs. On the strenght of a Ted Ginn punt return and a Ronnie Brown TD run, Marlins lead 14-7.

Despite the Diamondbacks leading 7-0 in the top of the sixth inning, the final result was a 14-7 Marlins win. Some jackass South Florida sports writer will surely use this game to demonstrate a made up point that the Marlins have "heart," or some other intangible quality that is unquantifiable, especially when judging said intangible quality based on one game in a 162 game schedule. The jackass will probably attribute the win to the team "rallying around the injured Burke Badenhop," which may have happened, if you believe in such things, but wouldn't have made a difference if the Diamondbacks' pitching staff didn't completely collapse.

Still, this win was fucking sweet. And, for the more visual readers, tonight's crazy-insane (or insane-crazy) win probability chart, courtesty of Fangraphs: (click to enhance)

The Sky Is Not Falling

Well played, Strib photographer.

Yes, the Twins dropped a three game set to the Yankees. Yes, they were swept. Yes, the starting pitchers are dropping like flies. Yes, the All Star break couldn't come at a better time. Yes, this is the funniest dead hooker article I've ever seen.

Yes, the Twins played pretty terrible baseball this week. Yes, the entire Yankees series was disappointing. Yes, we're going to be subjected to some overly reactionary thoughts that the Twins season is now over.

Yes, the composers of those thoughts are fucking dipshits. Yes, I've said yes enough goddamn times now.

The Twins are a good, yet flawed, team, and this Yankee series illustrated some of those flaws. The Twins have about six quality position players, but three out of Nick Punto, Matt Tolbert, Delmon Young, and Carlos Gomez can't be in the lineup on a daily basis. The starting pitching has some solid arms, but lacks a front line starter. The bullpen isn't that bad, but lacks a solid bridge from the rotation to Nathan. The team may have some decent individual defenders in Mauer, Crede, and Gomez, but as a whole the team defense is still well below average.

But this team isn't bad. They're actually quite good.

Even after this disappointing series, the Twins still have a +22 run differential, which narrowly edges out Detroit as the best in the AL Central. Even though they're running out three shitheads in the lineup every day, they're still scoring runs at a very good clip (just imagine if they replaced Punto/Tolbert with someone like Felipe Lopez or Freddy Sanchez). The starting pitching leaves some things to be desired, and would probably lead to the Twins being bounced pretty early in the playoffs, but 1-5 there isn't a starter that can be called bad - although there's none who are near ace status, either.

The Twins have, probably, the easiest potential ugrade in the division, as all they have to do is find a league average 2B and they're immediately a much better team. Even if the Twins don't make a move at the deadline to upgrade the lineup and/or bullpen - which would be unwise, but is entirely possible - this collection of players can still win the AL Central. They have the hitting, they have the starting pitching, they have the bullpen, and the defense shouldn't be enough of a negative to cost them the playoffs.

Remember, it was less than a week ago that they were an extra inning meltdown away from sweeping the first place Tigers. Taking one of three games, let alone two of three, from the White Sox gets the Twins right back on track to winning the AL Central.

And, if the weekend doesn't break right, remember there's a lot of baseball to be played in the second half. A three game set in July doesn't win or lose a division.

.

A Match Made In Heaven

Yes, the phrase "a match made in heaven" is far too often overused. It's rare that a true match made in heaven arises, such as when the Axe body spray-wearing, Rockstar-guzzling douchebag ends up marrying the pretentious whore with fake eye lashes and blonde hair extensions.

Fortunately, a similar match occurred yesterday. From PFT:

Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press reports that Favre and his wife placed a $30,000 deposit last week on a condo near 50th and France in Edina.

And that's just fucking perfect. The biggest attention whore in professional football is moving to a ritzy suburb nicknamed Every Day I Need Attention, a nickname earned because of the nature of Edina's residents. Really, this couldn't have worked out better for everyone.

Oh, and it should go without saying that we're sure the condo deposit was merely another coincidence and in no way indicates Favre will be at Vikings training camp. He's still "happily retired," or still "weighing his options," whichever you prefer.

A Level Above the Rest

Because of their dominance, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods have been synonymous with one another in the sports world, and yesterday, two of this generation’s finest individual athletes were once again at the pinnacle of their respective sports after winning yet another event. For Tiger, he was busy winning his own invitational, the AT&T National at Congressional Country Club in suburban Washington D.C. This was noteworthy not only because Woods was victorious in just the second start at his own invitational (like Jack Nicklaus at his tournament, the Memorial), but also because it gave Tiger his 68th PGA tour win and further confirmed that he is once again the heavy favorite at next week’s British Open.

For Federer, yesterday’s championship was not just any tournament final, as it was Wimbledon, where he won his first grand slam title in 2003. After losing the greatest match ever to Rafael Nadal last year in London, Federer was once again able to grasp Wimbledon’s championship cup after his knee-knocking, five set marathon victory over Andy Roddick at the All England Club. Federer’s victory included an unbelievable thirty-game deciding set which he took 16-14, finally breaking Roddick for the first time all match to take his sixth Wimbledon championship. The win gave him a record fifteen major titles, vaulting him past Pete Sampras with the most all-time. It is now widely accepted that at nearly 28 years old, Federer will be considered the greatest player ever to play tennis when his career culminates in the next few years, if he has not already reached that point. The same cannot be said for his fellow Gillette and Nike spokesman. So when it comes to achievements in individual sports there is now just one man in a class of his own, and his name is not Eldrick “Tiger” Woods. His name is Roger Federer.

The main reason why Federer has now a ascended to a level higher than Tiger, a level unseen in sports, is because Roger has maintained a sustained dominance over the competition not yet matched by Woods, Nicklaus, Sampras, Laver or countless others. Consider this from Federer: Roger has now reached 21 consecutive Grand Slam semifinals (over five straight years) and the next longest streak in the history of tennis is ten, done by both Ivan Lendl and Rod Laver. That streak becomes even more remarkable when you consider that Federer had to battle talented younger opponents like Nadal, Murray, Djokovic, and Roddick, while also fighting Mononucleosis during the latter portions of 2007 into 2008. Has Woods or even Nicklaus ever finished in the top four or better in 21 straight majors??? I think not.

In addition, Roger has also advanced to the finals in 17 of the last 18 major tournaments, failing to advance to only the 2008 Australian Open championship during that span. That run also includes a record ten consecutive finals appearances from 2005-2007. He has only lost to one opponent, Rafael Nadal, in Grand Slam finals amassing a 15-5 record in his twenty matches...in other words HE HAS NEVER LOST A FINAL TO ANYONE OTHER THAN NADAL. Now, I understand that Tiger has never lost a major when leading after 54 holes, but I also know he has never come from behind to win a Masters, U.S Open, British Open or PGA Championship, either.

All told, Federer has sixty career ATP titles and has an overall record of 657-155. Unless he plays until he is 35 or older, Federer will likely end up third on the all-time list of career ATP titles in the open era, behind only Jimmy Connors (109) and Lendl (94). But to be the greatest of all time you have to dominate, specifically in the majors, and while Woods is closing in on Jack Nicklaus’s record 18 majors, it is clear that Roger Federer and not Tiger Woods has now become the finest individual athlete of our generation and quite possibly of all-time.

(Check back with me in ten years and see if this argument still holds true.)

Federer Career Notes:
-1st Major Victory: 2003 Wimbledon – Age 21
-27 Majors from Aussie Open 2003 to Present
-Record 15 Major Victories, five 2nd Place finishes, three semifinal appearances
-Finished in top three 85 percent of the time, top two 74 percent of major appearances since 2003
-Reached 21 straight semifinals since 2004 Wimbledon
-One of six men to hold the career grand slam

(Final Note: Great article on Federer saving the second set from the NYT.)

Bat My Balls Special: 2009 AL All-Star Team

Just like my NL All Star team, an AL All Star team was chosen by me late last week. Unfortunately, due to, uh, complications, I didn’t post it before the teams were selected. Bummer, dude.

So, instead of posting my choices for the AL All Star team, I’ll critique the actual selections, most of which were, at the least, surprisingly defensible.

Catcher: Joe Mauer, Twins (starter); Victor Martinez, Indians.

Fine. Mauer’s clearly the AL’s best catcher, and deserves to start even though he’s missed a month. As the lone backup catcher, Martinez is a weird selection, because he’s only caught 41 games. I’d rather see a full time catcher, like Jason Varitek, get the nod, but Martinez isn’t a bad choice as the Indians’ lone representative.

First Base: Mark Texeira, Yankees (starter), Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox, Justin Morneau, Twins.

Texeira’s having a decent enough season to make the team, but he shouldn’t be starting over Youkilis. Even Morneau deserves to start over Texeira.

Both Miguel Cabrera and Russell Branyan also could’ve received a spot over Texeira, but choosing between Cabrera, Branyan, and Texeira is splitting hairs.

Second Base: Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox (starter); Aaron Hill, Blue Jays, Ben Zobrist, Rays.

Hill or Zobrist should be starting over Pedroia, but RED SAWX FAHCKIN NATION will always turn out in droves to vote for a scrappy white guy. Ian Kinsler deserves a spot over Pedroia, if three second basemen are going to be taken.

Without Pedroia being voted in as a starter, two second basemen most likely would have been taken, and the fans voting in Pedroia cost Miguel Cabrera or Russell Branyan a roster spot.

Shortstop: Derek Jeter, Yankees (starter); Jason Bartlett, Rays.

Bartlett has better numbers than Jeter, and he probably should be starting. But the fans voting in Jeter to start is semi-defensible, because Jeter’s made about 90 more plate appearances than Bartlett. I’m willing to at least acknowledge it’s possible that Jeter playing in significantly more games than Bartlett makes Jeter of approximately equal value to Bartlett, despite Jeter playing worse than Bartlett in the games Jeter’s played.

Marco Scurato kinda got hosed, but, again, blame the fans for voting in Pedroia and Josh Hamilton.

Third Base: Evan Longoria, Rays (starter); Michael Young, Rangers.

At the age of 23, Longoria’s been the best 3B in baseball this season, and should be starting. Young’s hit well, but he’s been a butcher with the glove. Brandon Inge has been a revelation this season and should be the backup 3B over Young.

Outfield: Jason Bay, Red Sox (starter); Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners (starter); Josh Hamilton, Rangers (starter); Carl Crawford, Rays; Curtis Granderson, Tigers; Torii Hunter, Angels; Adam Jones, Orioles.

Bay and Suzuki are fine choices as starters. Josh Hamilton’s missed too much time to even be considered worthy of a spot on the All Star team, let alone a starting position. Torii Hunter, despite his shitty defense over the past few years, should be manning CF for the American League.

Crawford’s an excellent choice as a backup OF. Granderson and Jones aren’t terrible selections, but more deserving players, most notably Shin-Soo Choo, Nelson Cruz, and Adam Lind, were excluded when Granderson and Jones were chosen.

Pitchers: Andrew Bailey, A’s; Josh Beckett, Red Sox; Mark Buerhle, White Sox; Zack Greinke, Royals; Brian Fuentes, Angels; Roy Halladay, Blue Jays; Felix Hernandez, Mariners; Edwin Jackson, Tigers; Joe Nathan, Twins; Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox, Mariano Rivera, Yankees; Justin Verlander, Tigers; Tim Wakefield, Red Sox.

Even if Halladay or Greinke ultimately are declared the starter, there's a lot not to like about these selections, with the root of the problem being taking five closers. No closer deserves a spot over a starter who’s thrown upwards of 100 excellent innings. Choosing all these closers leads to starters who have pitched more innings with better results, such as Cliff Lee, being excluded from the All Star squad so that a guy who usually records three outs a night can make the squad. Retarded.

As the lone Oakland player, Bailey’s an okay choice, as he’s having a nice year for a closer. But Dallas Braden should have made the team as the A’s representative, because an above average starter is much more valuable than an above average closer.

Brian Fuentes shouldn’t be an All Star. Multiple starters and relievers are having significantly better seasons than Fuentes.

Tim Wakefield’s having a cool season, especially for someone his age, but he’s nowhere near one of the AL’s best pitchers. His teammate, Jon Lester, is having a better season than Wakefield, as are numerous other starters, such as Cliff Lee, CC Sabathia, James Shields, and Jered Weaver.

But hey: the All Star game is nothing, if not for a game full of sentimental picks that ultimately decides which league’s representative gets fucking home field advantage in the World Series.

An A-Rod You Can Support

Happy Independence Day Weekend everyone. Its only fitting on the anniversary weekend of the good 'ole USA sticking it to England that American Andy Roddick stuck it to Brit Andy Murray, only this time its on their turf. In a great match in front of thousands of Murray's countrymen, Roddick played powerfully and intelligently while defeating his foe 6-4, 4-6, 7-6 (7), 7-6 (5) in just over three hours. It wasn't the match, but it was pretty damn entertaining. Had Murray advanced, it was said some seats for the Wimbledon Championship would have gone for 20,000 lbs (or was it the goofy British currency with the L symbol?). Either way, I'd like to see Federer have to wait a little longer to pass Sampras for the most Grand Slam titles and see a non-roided A-Rod get a Wimbledon championship. Although I'm sure AJR26 will be cheering for Federer to break the record; with the man-crush AJR26 has on Federer, its no wonder there is a gay bar named after him in Boystown, Chicago (which is also where I'm writing from). Either way, make sure you tune in Sunday to catch a great Federer-Roddick match up. Or else, you can "GET CHO FAGGOT ASS BACK TO BOYSTOWN."

note: The quote is from a bouncer near Boystown, who resembled Big Black from Rob & Big, who screamed this in a homosexual man's face because he refused to leave the bar after being kicked out for fighting. Good times. Also a word of advice, don't just google "big black" with safe search off.

side note: Although "Watching 'Independence Day' with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum" isn't an option on the poll, I will certainly be doing that among other things on the list including "Grillin it and killin it."

Rubio's Staying In Spain, And Other Notes

Briefly:

The Pioneer Press is reporting that Ricky Rubio will stay in Europe for two more years, rather than play for the 'Wolves. Now, the trim in Spain is undoubtedly better than the trim in Minnesota, but that's clearly not the issue for Rubio. David Kahn's first draft already is an epic failure.

The Wild lost Marion Gaborik, but replaced him with Martin Havlat. Havlat has similar injury issues to Gaborik, but if he's able to stay healthy even a little more than Gaborik, Havlat's a solid addition.

The Twins finally rid themselves of Luis Ayala. Where did he land? Oh, with the Marlins. I actually like this signing, because Ayala's only being paid the prorated MLB minimum and will be used as a middle reliver in Florida. While Ayala's not good, he's also not as bad as some Twins fans made him out to be. Ayala's an average middle reliever who can't be entrusted with the setup or closer roles. The Marlins already have a solid back end of the bullpen, so Ayala should fit in fine as a 6th-7th inning guy. His season numbers against right handed hitters (1.13 WHIP) are excellent, as are his career numbers (1.11 WHIP vs. RHB). Lefties may kill him, but if Fredi Gonzalez is smart enough to limit Ayala's appearances against lefties (which he may not be, but whatever), Ayala could actually prove useful.

Jim Souhan's not just stupid, he's apparently bipolar. See his contrasting columns, written two days apart, where he goes from thinking the Twins have "yet to provide a reason to believe" to acknowledging the Twins have improved and that the Tigers series will "tell us more about their fortitude" (a retarded notion, basing an entire season on a three game series, but whatever). Souhan changed positions based on a three game series with the fucking Royals. I can't believe this asshole gets paid to write about sports.

Have a fun 4th of July weekend, readers. Don't do anything, or anyone, AJR wouldn't do.

Bat My Balls Special: NL All Stars

Welcome to a special edition of Bat My Balls, where your author selects the 2009 All Star teams.

Last year, this exercise proved a bit controversial, particularly the selection of Johnny Damon in LF – which I maintain was the best selection at the time the article was written – and this year will probably prove debate-worthy again.

Selecting All Star teams is an exercise in frustration, because at some point choosing one player over another is essentially splitting hairs. The fan vote is retarded, because it’s basically a popularity contest among big market players, yet Hall of Fame voters rely on All Star selections when voting. Fucking stupid, if you ask me, but I’m not a Hall of Fame voter. I also don’t fill out All Star ballots, because voting is stupid, but that’s another discussion.

When choosing All Star teams, I look at three things:

- How a player is performing in the current season.

- Whether a player can be expected to continue his performance over the course of a season.

- How a player has historically performed.

If two players are performing approximately equal through the first half, I take the player who can be expected to maintain his performance throughout the season, usually basing this justification on a player’s peripheral statistics. If the players are still approximately equal, I take the player who’s performed better over the course of his career.

When choosing these teams, I look to the basic, important stats. For hitters, I use OBP, OPS and UZR, with UZR being more important in positions that call for premium defense, such as middle infield positions and center field. I then look at peripherals like BB/K, BABIP, HR/FB and other stats to determine if a player can continue his performance. For pitchers, I do essentially the same thing, looking at WHIP, K/9, and K/BB first, before looking at peripherals.

For hitters, little consideration is given to batting average, counting stats like home runs, and stats that are dependent on other players in the order, like RBIs. Similarly, for pitchers, little consideration is given to wins and saves.

Each team has to have a representative, so I’m trying to make sure that’s the case with my All Star team. With that out of the way, let’s begin.

Lineup:

Catcher: Brian McCann, Braves.

The NL catchers are a pretty weak crop this year. Nobody who’s qualified is hitting particularly well, but McCann’s probably the best catcher in the NL, even if he’s missed some time. He should have enough ABs to qualify by the time the All Star game approaches. McCann’s bat is a plus at .308/.396/.513, and his defense is good enough.

Reserve: Yadier Molina, Cardinals.

First Base: Albert Pujols, Cardinals.

Pujols is still the best hitter in baseball, even including Joe Mauer. That he’s putting up these numbers with zero protection in the lineup is even more impressive. Adrian Gonzalez is putting together a tremendous season in San Diego, but even he can’t top Pujols, who should win another MVP this season.

Joey Votto’s performance has been excellent, but he hasn’t played enough to make the team. Lance Berkman’s also having his usual season in Houston, but narrowly misses out.

Reserves: Adrian Gonzalez, Padres. Prince Fielder, Brewers.

Second Base: Chase Utley, Phillies.

Utley’s the only NL 2B worthy of consideration. Brandon Phillips makes the squad as a reserve, because he’s hitting well and is the best defensive 2B in the NL thus far. Freddy Sanchez makes the team as the Pirates’ representative.

Reserves: Brandon Phillips, Reds. Freddy Sanchez, Pirates.

Shortstop: Hanley Ramirez, Marlins.

If not for Albert Pujols, Hanley would be the NL MVP. Ramirez is hitting .341/.406/.564 as a 25 year old, and this season he’s even playing above average defense. There’s not a thing Hanley can’t do on the baseball field.

Troy Tulowitzki makes the team as a reserve, because of how he’s turned his season around recently, and Miguel Tejada makes the squad for his bat, even with his subpar defense.

Reserves: Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies. Miguel Tejada, Astros.

Third Base: David Wright, Mets.

The toughest position in the National League to pick a starter. Wright’s not hitting for power, at least in the home run department, but his .432 OBP is by far the league’s best, and his OPS is up there as well, on the strength of his OBP. Wright’s decent defensively, too.

Still, it’s difficult to overlook the season Ryan Zimmerman is having; he’s playing excellent defense and hitting for power, and he’s just as deserving of a starting position. Reynolds and Sandoval are both hitting extremely well, but their defense is pretty bad.

Reserves: Ryan Zimmerman, Nationals. Pablo Sandoval, Giants. Mark Reynolds, Diamondbacks.

Right Field: Justin Upton, Diamondbacks

Brad Hawpe and Justin Upton are both having tremendous years, and Hawpe’s season is undoubtedly aided a bit by Coors Field. Based on their peripherals, both will probably maintain this level of production.

But Upton’s significantly better defensively. Since their offensive production is approximately equal, the better defensive player gets the nod, even if RF isn’t a premium defensive position.

Hunter Pence and Adam Dunn warrant consideration as reserve corner OFs.

Reserves: Brad Hawpe, Rockies.

Center Field: Matt Kemp, Dodgers.

Despite an unfortunate last name, Kemp’s part of the gangbusters Los Angeles lineup, and he’s having a tremendous year both offensively and defensively. This spot would have gone to Carlos Beltran had he not been injured. Instead, Beltran makes the squad as a reserve.

Reserves: Carlos Beltran, Mets.

Left Field: Raul Ibanez, Phillies.

Steroid speculation aside, Ibanez is still the best LF this year. This spot could easily go to Ryan Braun, because of Ibanez’s injury situation. Sheffield makes the squad simply because I’m amazed at how he’s performed offensively, even if he’s been a train wreck on the defensive end.

Reserves: Ryan Braun, Brewers. Gary Sheffield, Mets.

Pitchers:

Starting pitcher: Dan Haren, Diambondbacks.

Tim Lincecum and Haren are the contenders for the starting role. Lincecum’s strikeout numbers and mullet are better, while Haren’s allowing fewer baserunners and has a silly 113/15 K/BB in 115 innings. Either one can easily start.

Reserve starting pitchers: Tim Lincecum, Giants. Josh Johnson, Marlins. Matt Cain, Giants. Javier Vazquez, Braves. Yovani Gallardo, Brewers. Johan Santana, Mets. Chad Billingsley, Dodgers. Ted Lilly, Cubs. Joel Piniero, Cardinals.

Middle Reliever: Rafael Soriano, Braves. Because I believe one pitching slot should be reserved for a middle reliver, and Soriano's having an excellent season.

Closers: Heath Bell, Padres. Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers.

Bat My Balls: Week 12

8 Balls of the Week:

Tuesday night, Giants ace Tim Lincecum threw a complete game, giving up seven hits and one run, with the effort powered by a choco taco. Lincecum and Matt Cain are the primary reasons San Francisco is surprisingly leading the NL Wild Card race. The Giants don’t have the offense of some of the other teams in contention, such as Colorado and Milwaukee, but San Francisco’s pitching has kept them in the race. If the Giants are able to add a bat at the trade deadline, or even get more out of their current lineup, they could end up stealing the Wild Card. Four potential starts from Cain and Lincecum would make San Francisco a tough out in the Divisional Playoffs.

Carlos Beltran went on the disabled list this week, further harming the Mets’ chances in the NL East. New York has been plagued by injuries to both their position players and pitching staff this year, but they’re still sticking around, thanks to David Wright and the resurgent Gary Sheffield. At the age of 40, Sheffield leads the Mets in home runs, with 9, and has a .394 OBP and .894 OPS. Surprising doesn’t begin to describe Sheffield’s season.

In his Red Sox debut, John Smoltz looked like a 42 year old, giving up 5 runs and taking the loss against the decrepit Nationals. While Smoltz’s debut wasn’t all bad – he did have a 5/1 K/BB – it wasn’t what Boston was hoping for. Still, Smoltz doesn’t have to be great for the Red Sox to keep their position atop the AL East.

Juan Pierre’s come back to Earth, and he’s just in time to move back to the bench upon Manny’s return. After a hot May, Pierre’s hitting .257/.312/.307 in June, which shouldn’t be unexpected based on his career marks. Pierre still has value as a bench player, but with those numbers he isn’t worthy of a starting position and no team is going to make a move for him at the trade deadline, especially when his contract is considered.

Detroit Tigers SP Rick Porcello is still chugging along with an excellent season, one of the primary reasons Detroit remains atop the AL Central. Porcello has an average WHIP at 1.36, and his strikeout rate and K/BB aren’t great, so his 3.55 ERA may inflate a bit as the season progresses, but his groundball rate is excellent (56.9%), meaning he’ll probably remain, at worst, an average starter over the course of the season. If the Tigers can continue to get quality starts from Porcello, they’ll have the starting pitching necessary to take the AL Central.

In the first major move of the trading season, St. Louis acquired former Indians infielder Mark DeRosa over the weekend, presumably to give them another major league caliber hitter in their lineup. Counting Albert Pujols, that now brings the Cardinals’ total to two. St. Louis acquired DeRosa at a discount price of one MLB ready relief prospect and a player to be named later. DeRosa’s not a thumper (thumper? I hardly know ‘er), but he should put up an .800ish OPS with average defense at any infield spot besides shortstop. For a team like the Cardinals, who have more than one hole in their lineup, DeRosa is a welcome addition who should significantly help their playoff chances.

Speaking of trades and the upcoming trade deadline, we’re about to become inundated with trade rumors, most of the inaccurate, wildly speculative variety. The only teams that are clearly sellers are the Orioles, Royals, Indians, A’s, Nationals, Diamondbacks, and Padres, with the Pirates, Astros, and maybe the Blue Jays or White Sox possibly joining them. The deadline will probably be bereft of big names moving, outside of Matt Holliday and possibly Heath Bell. That won’t stop people from gushing over the mediocrity available, but don’t expect any Mannypalooza-type sweepstakes this season.

Twins This Week:

The Twins have to be happy with this week. Taking four of six on the road from the NL Central leaders is a great week for any team.

First, the Twins went into Milwaukee and took two of three from the Brewers. Francisco Liriano got the win in Tuesday’s game, despite a relatively poor outing (7 hits and 5 walks in only five innings). Wednesday night, the Twins dropped a tough 4-3 decision after Nick Blackburn threw the ball into right field in the 8th inning. Thursday, Scott Baker pitched relatively well in Minnesota’s 6-4 victory.

Over the weekend, the Twins took two of three in St. Louis. Glen Perkins pitched well Friday night, limiting hard hit balls and walks on the way to Minnesota’s 3-1 victory. Saturday, the Twins were essentially defeated by Albert Pujols after failing to capitalize on Todd Wellemeyer’s early control issues. Sunday, Francisco Liriano picked up his second victory of the week, this time throwing well – 4 hits, 2 walks, and six strikeouts in seven innings.

On the hitting front, Joe Mauer’s average has dropped below .400, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, although it’s a bit surprising to see his average plummet this quickly. Denard Span returned from the DL, and not a moment too soon. No big surprises emerged from the rest of the lineup. If Minnesota can continue to get big pitching performances out of Scott Baker and Francisco Liriano, they can take the Central division.

Even though the Twins have huge holes in the lineup and bullpen, their season will probably come down to whether Baker and Liriano can pitch up to their potential.

Team of the Week:

Tampa Bay Devil Rays

This week, the Rays took two of three from the first place Phillies in a World Series rematch, then swept a hot Marlins ballclub, including a defeat of Josh Johnson.

Tampa still has all the components necessary to make a run in the AL East, and they have the resources to go get someone at the deadline if they deem an acquisition to be prudent. Evan Longoria and Carlos Pena continue to put up silly numbers at the plate, and Tampa’s weathered the loss of Akinori Iwamura with the unexpectedly good performance from Ben Zobrist. Tampa’s defense also remains among baseball’s best.

A rotation led by James Shields and Matt Garza makes the Rays competitive in any playoff series, and the backend of the bullpen, specifically J.P. Howell, is good enough. Tampa may need another reliever to bridge the gap to Howell, but this Rays team is as complete as any team in the American League.

Position Player of the Week: Chicago White Sox OF Jermaine Dye. Dye hit .500/.520/1.042 this week and continued being a bright spot in an otherwise disappointing season for the South Siders. If the White Sox fall out of contention, Dye could see his name on the trade block, which would spice up an otherwise mundane trade deadline.

Pitcher of the Week: San Diego Padres SP Chad Gaudin. Gaudin threw 15 innings this week, allowing 2 ER on 5 hits with 3 walks and 20 strikeouts, including an impressive 8 inning shutout at Texas.

Top 5:

1. L.A. Dodgers. And they’re only going to improve when Manny returns.

2. Boston Red Sox.

3. New York Yankees

4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays

5. Detroit Tigers

Bottom 5:

26. Kansas City Royals

27. Baltimore Orioles

28. Arizona Diamondbacks. Ahead of the Padres because San Diego has a run differential 40 runs worse than Arizona’s.

29. San Diego Padres. When does the Heath Bell sweepstakes begin?

30. Washington Nationals.

Upcoming Series of the Week:

Detroit Tigers @ Minnesota Twins, Friday-Sunday.

If the Twins are going to cut into Detroit’s narrow AL Central lead, the July 4th weekend series is an opportune time to do so.

Honorable Mention: NYM @ MIL, M-W; TB @ TOR, M-W; COL @ LAD, M-W; NYM @ PHI, F-SU; TB @ TEX, F-SU.

Nationally Televised Games This Week:

Monday: NYM @ MIL, 7:05, ESPN.
Wednesday: SF @ STL, 8:15, ESPN.
Saturday: NYM @ PHI, LAD @ SD, DET @ MIN, 4ish, Fox Regional.
Sunday: MIL @ CHC, 2:20, TBS; TB @ TEX, 8:05, ESPN.

A week of excellent, relatively diverse matchups. I’m especially looking forward to Wednesday’s ESPN game, as I haven’t seen much of the Giants this year. Sunday night’s Tampa-Texas matchup should be excellent as well.

Urban Dictionary Term of the Week: Hotness Hypnosis: "The act of finding someone so physically attractive that you overlook serious flaws in their personality."

Everyone's guilty enough of this at one point or another in their lives.

Quote of the Week: For this week’s quote, we have a 4th of July special, about former Cincinnati Red Steve Foster’s first trip to Canada:

All was fine until the Customs agent asked a question that all visitors to Canada are asked: What do you have to declare? “I didn’t know what he meant. I go, ‘Pardon me?’ He goes, ‘What do you have to declare?’ I thought about it for a moment then said, “I’m proud to be an American.”

U.S. Falls to Brazil

The U.S. Men's national soccer team put forth a fantastic effort today, but ultimately fell to a very strong Brazil team, 3-2, in the Confederations Cup Final.

The match was essentially a tale of two halves. The U.S. was surprisingly dominant in the first half, going up 1-0 on a Clint Dempsey goal in the 10th minute. Landycakes, the epitome of an athlete who disappears in big games, scored on a phenomenal counterattack to put the U.S. up 2-0 in the 28th minute. Tim Howard, strong throughout the match and the winner of the Goalkeeper of the Tournament award, was particularly brilliant in the first half.

Unfortuantely, things collapsed for the U.S. in the second half. The Americans looked like shit the entire half, playing the passive soccer that doomed them in the 2006 World Cup. U.S. head coach Bob Bradley is already being questioned for some of his second half substitutions and adjustments, or lack thereof.

The turning point came early in the second half, when Brazil scored in the 48th minute to narrow the deficit to 2-1. From that point on, the U.S. was on their heels the entire second half.

The U.S. caught a break around the 60th minute, when what should have been a goal wasn't ruled one even though the ball clearly crossed the goal line and Tim Howard was in the net when he made the save. Fabiano's second goal tied the game in the 74th minute, and Lucio's goal in the 85th minute was the winner for Brazil. The U.S. never really threatened in the second half, save for a corner kick in the 88th minute.

Still, based on the way the Confederations Cup started, the U.S. has to be happy with the ultimate result in the tournament, despite the disappointing lost today. The first half of today's match showed the 3-0 victory over Egypt and Wednesday's victory over Spain weren't a fluke. Howard took home the Keeper of the Tournament Award, and Dempsey won the Player of the Tournament award, named the Gold Ball or something similar. American soccer fans should have high hopes that the U.S. can emerge from group play in the 2010 World Cup.

Brilliant

I'm on record as saying I loved the Wolves' selection of Ricky Rubio, and I stand by those statements. But I was working under the assumption that, despite all the pre-draft bluster, Rubio would actually play in Minnesota, and that David Kahn, or someone in Minnesota's front office, had conversations about Rubio coming to Minnesota and was assured that Rubio would play here.

Apparently, that's not the case.

Rubio and his family are already causing trouble about him playing in Minnesota, leading to speculation he may be on the way to the Knicks. The cliff notes version from the ESPN article.

- Rubio hates cold weather and isn't enthused about moving to Minnesota

- Rubio's not happy about the 'Wolves selecting another PG in the first round

- Rubio's mother also hates cold weather, and considering the mother-son relationship that's traditional in Spanish cultures, that's equally bad, since she's moving with him and they'll probably live together.

- Rubio's father is quoted as saying it's likely that Ricky will stay in Europe for at least another year

- The Knicks have already made overtures to the 'Wolves about a possible trade

- Rubio has the same agent as Yi Jianlian, the Chinese player who was drafted by the Bucks and eventually forced his way out of Milwaukee

Now, all hope is not lost, as Rubio did say that if the 'Wolves give him minutes, he may be willing to play for them. But the Rubio family's statments aren't encouraging either.

One would think an NBA front office would have some idea of whether the player they're potentially drafting is going to play for their team. If there were no pre-draft conversations about whether Rubio would willingly play in Minnesota, the Wolves front office is collectively dumber than the throngs of people who paid money to see Transformers 2.

I hate to define "make or break" moments for any players, coaches, or front office, because that's mostly an exercise in stupidity and futility. But if David Kahn is forced to trade his prized draft pick because that draft pick won't play for his team, the Kahn era will be off to an inauspicious start, at best. He won't look any better than Kevin McHale. Considering the excitement of the fanbase at the selection of Rubio, seeing Rubio traded would only reinforce the notion that the Wolves are a Mickey Mouse organization undeserving of fan support and ticket purchases.

This whole ordeal really bothers me, because the Timberwolves are my favorite NBA team and the only Minnesota team I actively root for. So let's hope Rubio and Kahn work something out and Rubio has a long, productive career in Minnesota. Unfortunately, it's hard to be optimistic about that notion.

Who The F-ck Is Going To Score?

Tonight, the Wolves used back to back picks on point guards.

The Ricky Rubio selection was fantastic. While he's nowhere near ready to play significant minutes and carry at team, having a PG like Rubio should at least but fans in the seats, and he's a hell of a future PG prospect. If the 'Wolves stocked up on wing players who could fill up a box score, Rubio and Kevin Love would absolutely be able to get them the ball. After the pick, it was assumed by those watching (I was in a meeting and receiving updates via text from Moonlight Graham) that the 'Wolves would then take a scoring wing player like, say, DeMar DeRozen, who if nothing else can score and has a great name.

But Minnesota used the #6 pick on another point guard, Jonny Flynn. The Wolves apparently plan to use both Rubio and Flynn in the same backcourt. Now, Flynn's a pretty good prospect, although I question his upside a bit, considering his size. But Flynn should be ready to play immediately, or at least as much as a college sophomore can be ready to play immediately.

Yet I ask: who the fuck is going to score for this team? Sure, Al Jefferson can put up 20+ points a night, but Rubio is a distributor, not a scorer. Love is a frontcourt player known for his rebounding and passing, not scoring. And Flynn is better served as a point guard who distributes the ball and contributes about 15 points a night. As the second scoring option behind Al Jefferson, that leaves who? Corey Brewer? De facto staring center Etan Thomas?

I realize the Wolves aren't building for 2010, and that they can get their scoring wing player in next year's draft, if necessary, as they'll probably have a top 10 pick again. And, if the Wolves do acquire a legit second scoring option, a lineup of Rubio-Flynn-scoring wing player-Love-Jefferson looks good on paper.

But at the same time: what are the Wolves going to do next year? Sure, a Rubio-Flynn backcourt may work out in the long run. Maybe. But shouldn't David Kahn at least considered getting a non-PG with the #6 pick? For a team as bad as the Wolves, isn't having two distributing PGs a luxury they can't afford?

Overall, the Wolves didn't fare poorly, because they took one player with a high ceiling and a low floor, and another with a low ceiling but a high floor. But it would've been nice to consider addressing the lack of scoring in this draft. And that's saying nothing of the Lawson trade, which may or may not work out, depending on the conditions of the future pick (i.e. whether the pick is top 5/top 10 protected, and for how long).

I'm sure Simmons will be around tomorrow to say that he could have run this draft better. He's kind of a second-guessing dipshit (just like me), but he's not completely off-base.

At least the night wasn't a complete disaster. Rubio's Minnesota-bound, and the Marlins are within a game and a half of first place.

(Edit: Hey, maybe Wayne Ellington helps with scoring, because he can definitely shoot. But he's not the answer to the scoring problem.)

Daaaaaaa Bers

So I'm moving to Chicago in a few days and instead of packing or ironing out my living situation I'm posting on here and perusing the internet watching videos like this:
Very productive day. Besides, its way too hot for a penguin. HOLD UP. I just moved outside. I'm enjoying some Grizzly Mint by the pool, listening to "Russian Privjet" by Basshunter, and there is so much cotton in the air it looks like its snowing (I have a huge cotton tree in my backyard). So at least I'm not the stereotypical blogger posting from his parents basement (that I was 2 minutes ago). As an unintentional trademark I realized I'll probably be prefacing most posts with my location and if pertinent, my wardrobe. I'm currently shirtless with cargo shorts and a gators hat (sorry dmk, I went through an orange phase, I still think Tebow is a dick smoke). ANYWAY, I don't have any thing to write about sports related so I thought I'd let our 9 readers (I figured 14 in the poll minus 5 contributors) that I'm moving to Chicago and will be giving some insight into the Windy City sports teams. Heck, maybe I'll even bump into neckbeard sippin on some Jack now that Jay "The Baby" Cutler took his starting spot. I'll likely become a Cubs and Bulls fan, post about the Bears but still hate them (Da Bers), and fuck the White Sox. As a divisional foe of the Twins, I will do nothing but conduct a weekly hate session on the White Sox and leave the positives out. I might even begin my own weekly column titled "Moonlight's Player Haters Ball" and hate on other things as well. And of course, I'll still be repping Twins Territory and cheer for the Twinkies if they ever match up against the Cubs. Speaking of that, I have a peer who I recently graduated who lives outside of Chicago and cheers for the Cubs and Sox equally. How the fuck is that possible you ask?? Well I'm fairly certain this kid is asexual so there are bigger questions to answer about this guy first. Our Native American friend we occasionally zing on this site even came up with a theory that he has to wear diapers because of all the wet dreams he must have. However, I still have something resembling friendship with this guy and I recently sang "Piano Man" in a duet with J. "the Tank" H while he played piano. Good times. Thats all for now and once I get settled in Chi Town I'll start posting some relevant sports items. Go fuck yourselves San Diego.

Iowa HS Football Coach Shot and Killed in School Weight Room

Ed Thomas

Sad news from the heartland. Ed Thomas, 58 and head football coach at Aplington-Parkersburg H.S. in northwestern Iowa, was shot and killed Wednesday morning.

By a 24 year-old former player.

In the school weightroom.

At 8:00am.

Multiple times.

In front of 50 or so students, none of whom were hurt or apparently targeted.

It's moments like these that infuriate rather than sadden the soul. Why couldn't this psychopath do everyone a favor and go hang himself in his garage. That way at least no one else would have been hurt.

ESPN.com story from 2008 on Ed Thomas leading the town through tragedy.

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That Just Happened

In the Confederations Cup Semifinal, the United States Men's National Team defeated the #1 ranked team in the World, Spain, 2-0. In Soccer. I watched the entire game, and I still have no idea how it happened.

Around the 26th minute, the U.S. took the lead on 19 year-old Jozy Altidore's strike off the left post, and, after Landon Donovan got away with a shitty crosser, Clint Dempsey drove home the clincher around the 73rd minute. Goalkeeper Tim Howard was fantastic throughout, and the defense held after a bullshit red card was handed out to Michael Bradley.

Spain had a 35 game unbeaten streak and 15 game winning streak heading into today's match. The U.S. struggled to advance out of group play, as they looked like shit against Italy and Brazil and only advanced on the strength of the third tiebreaker, goals scored. As much as I wanted to believe the USMNT could win this game, I didn't believe. At all.

Even though this is only a Confederations Cup match, and not a World Cup match, this is still one of sports' biggest upsets in 2009, and arguably one of the five biggest wins, and biggest non-World Cup win, in American soccer history.

The U.S. advances to the Confederations Cup Final on Sunday, where they'll face either Brazil or host nation South Africa.

Wolves Trading Up?

David Kahn isn't done dealing yet. From ESPN:

A source close to Minnesota told ESPN.com's Andy Katz that the Timberwolves aren't done. The Wolves now own Nos. 5, 6, 18 and 28 in the first round. A source said that the Timberwolves won't package Nos. 5 and 6 for No. 2, but they could offer the fifth and 18th picks for the second. The key for Minnesota, according to the source, is that it wants to have two lottery selections, whether that's Nos. 2 and 6 or 5 and 6. The source said Minnesota is expecting to have a "very busy Wednesday."

Now, who's Minnesota expected to target? You were hoping for Tyreke Evans or Ricky Rubio, yes?

The Timberwolves reportedly covet Memphis guard Tyreke Evans but hope he will still be around at No. 5. Memphis at No. 2 or Sacramento at No. 4 have also been mentioned as possible suitors for Evans. The Timberwolves are also interested in Syracuse's Jonny Flynn and Davidson's Stephen Curry. Minnesota would also consider Hasheem Thabeet of Connecticut if he is still on the board when the Wolves select.

Kahn recently expressed interest in Thabeet, but many projections have him going at No. 2 to the Grizzlies.

"You could say that would complete our front line if we had somebody of that size and rim-protecting capability," Kahn said. "You could actually make an argument, and I'm not making that for me right now, but somebody could make that argument, that he would be the perfect fit."

/dips balls in battery acid

Minnesota emerging from the draft with Hasheem Thabeet and Stephen Curry would bring back the extremely recent memories of the McHale era and, even worse, probably lead Bill Simmons to write a 3,000 word column on why he should have been named the Wolves GM and how he would have played the draft. Then Randball would interview him, again, and I'd get irrationally pissed, again.

But don't worry - hope remains that the Wolves won't take Thabeet. From thte STrib:

I’m hearing David Kahn really wants Tyreke Evans, but Sacramento could pass on Rubio if he’s still there at 4 (and probably will be) and take Evans instead.

The Wolves also have Syracuse point guard Jonny Flynn high on their guard list and wouldn’t whine if Arizona State’s James Harden lasted until the fifth pick, either.

Flynn also is a possibility for the Kings at No. 4, if they opt for a true point guard to put next to Kevin Martin rather than a combo guy like Evans.

Might Kahn use the 18th and/or 28th picks to swap with the Thunder at 3 and move up past the Kings to take Evans rather than Rubio (assuming Memphis grabs Thabeet second)?

Sacramento then takes Flynn or Rubio and OKC gets Harden anyway and the Wolves take Curry’s shooting to pair with Evans’ slashing and Al Jefferson’s low-post game.

Next summer, in a draft projected to be thick with big men, the Wolves then use one of their two first-round picks to find a low-post defender to supplement Jefferson and Kevin Love.

Now, I really like this idea, even if it admits the 2009 season is essentially a lost cause. Minnesota can address the backcourt with both picks in the 2009 draft, and then use their likely lottery in 2010 to add a big man. Since the Wolves will probably be picking in the top 8 again, and will own three first round draft picks, they could probably move up for one of the 2010 draft class' impact big men, like current HS senior and future Georgia Tech PF Derrick Favors, UNC F Ed Davis, or Georgetown C/PF Greg Monroe.

Whatever happens, the Wolves shouldn't trade up for Hasheem Thabeet. He's too immobile and stiff to be any type of scoring presence in the NBA, and drafting a shot blocker who grabs 8-10 rebounds a game and can't play defense against any type of quick big man (for example, Jefferson would murder Thabeet inside) isn't the way to rebuild the Wolves franchise.

Minnesota needs impact players, like Evans, or Harden, or, eventually, Rubio. Thabeet is not an impact player. Curry is not an impact player.

Thabeet and Curry are best as complementary players on already good teams. Both fill a specialized role (Thabeet's a shot blocker, Curry's a shooter) but neither have the all-around game to help elevate Minnesota into a contending team. Drafting one, or both, would merely be replacing role players (Foye, Miller) with role players at different positions. The bottom line - wins - wouldn't drastically change.
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Call It A Done Deal

Favre's coming to Minnesota. He's expected to be at training camp, and the Vikings have already taken his #4 away from John David Booty. Booty's roster spot could follow shortly thereafter.

Barring some unforeseen major physical setback, Brett Favre will be at training camp in Mankato when they open up the end of July, a source has told WCCO's Mark Rosen.

That source said that Favre and the Vikings have indeed come to a contractual agreement, with heavy incentives. The Vikings equipment manager has already ordered number 4 purple jerseys with his name on it.

However, on Sunday, Favre's longtime agent, Bus Cooke denied a report that was out there that Favre and the Vikings had come to an agreement.

What isn't known is when this will be officially announced. Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress is in Alaska fishing this week with his good friend, Eagles head coach, Andy Reid.

ProFootballTalk.com speculated the announcement will come Fourth of July weekend, when a lot of media folks are on vacation to minimize the circus atmosphere.

John David Booty is currently wearing number 4, but not for long. Rosen said he believes the Vikings will keep Booty. The logical man to try and move would be Tavaris Jackson with Sage Rosenfels backing Favre up and ready to take over if Favre can't get the job done.

Yeah, good luck trading Tarvaris fucking Jackson. If JP Losman can't get a free agent contract, and Rex Grossman doesn't sign until last week, who in their right mind is going to give up a draft pick for T-Jack when the Vikes will just have to release him, Sage, or JDB in August anyway? Even Josh McDaniels isn't that stupid.

We've known that Favre to Minnesota has been inevitable for awhile, and that, for whatever reason *cough*ATTENTIONWHORE*cough* Favre and the team haven't come to an agreement, or at least announced the agreement. But it looks like the residents of Minnesota will finally get the 4th of July present they've always wanted: Brett Favre in purple.

I'll put Favre's 2009 total turnovers over/under at 23, and the over/under on number of TVs GldnKnight breaks while watching him at 1.5.

Timberwolves "Make Splash"

I use the "make splash" loosely, because all the Wolves have really done is set themselves up to have an extremely young 2009 squad that, without a healthy Al Jefferson, will compete for the 2010 #1 overall pick - who, hopefully, will be Brandon Knight, after the NBA eliminates its age restriction rule. And Jesus H. Christ, that was a long goddamn sentence.

The Washington Wizards are close to a deal that would send the No. 5 pick in Thursday's draft, Oleksiy Pecherov, Etan Thomas and Darius Songaila to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Randy Foye and Mike Miller, a league source told ESPN The Magazine's Ric Bucher on Tuesday.

The Wolves would then keep the draft pick and their own selection at No. 6 and not try to package those to move up, a source told ESPN.com's Andy Katz.

More at ESPN.

Yeah, it's nice that Minnesota now has four first round picks. Their roster certainly needs a talent infusion, and if they want to blow up the team, well, better to do it sooner rather than later.

Even with some upgrades, this team wasn't making the 2009 playoffs unless some extraordinary events occurred. Al Jefferson would have needed to start the season completely healthy, Kevin Love would have to take a significant step forward, whoever was taken #6 overall would need to be an immediate starter, and someone like Foye, Gomes, or Telfair would have to make a huge jump in production. So, maybe tanking the season before it begins isn't the worst idea.

But, at the same time, they're now probably looking at starting Al Jefferson, Kevin Love, and....who? Ryan Gomes? Craig Smith? Sebastian Telfair? Two rookies? Because none of the punks coming over from Washington are anything more than rotational players. And if Al Jefferson isn't healthy, is a lineup with Love, Gomes/Smith, Telfair, and a rookie or two the worst lineup in the NBA, hands down? How are this organization going to sell tickets?

And as much as I like the Wolves dealing for two top six picks, this isn't the draft to do it. The front line talent, outside of Blake Griffin, isn't anything special. Even with the #5 and #6 pick, the Wolves are looking at a package resembling Jordan Hill and Johnny Flynn/Jrue Holliday/Stephen Curry. Does THAT get anyone excited?

Then again, who knows. Maybe the Wolves will get a shot at Ricky Rubio. After some of the reports, would you take him?

Bat My Balls: Week 11

8 Balls of the Week:

A few weeks ago, I said that if you were looking for a struggling team that could go on a run, you should look at the Rockies. Well, it looks like that comment is a correctly reasoned needle in my haystack of fail. Despite starting the season off very slowly, Colorado now sits at 34-31 and has the National League’s third best run differential. The Rockies still aren’t NL West contenders, because the Dodgers have continued playing lights out baseball, but the Rockies are only 1.5 games out of the Wild Card lead. While Colorado may not take the Wild Card, their ascension is bad news for teams looking to pluck pieces from their roster at the trade deadline.

The NL East race has tightened back up. New York has two starting pitchers on the DL, and they now sit only one game over .500. Philadelphia’s still leading the NL East by two games, with a 36-31 record, but their rotation has major holes and Jimmy Rollins is still one of the worst starters in baseball this year. Even the Marlins are climbing back into contention, as the Fish swept the Blue Jays last week and took two of three from the Yankees this weekend. None of the NL East teams are good enough to run away with the division, and the Wild Card probably comes from the NL Central. Still, the NL East should be the most competitive race down the stretch, as every team except the Nationals will be jockeying for one playoff spot over these last four months.

The Devil Rays are back. Tampa’s collection of young talent has climbed back into the AL East race, as the Rays are only 6 games back of first place Boston and have the AL’s best run differential at +76. Tampa still has all the components of last year’s team – good defense, a deep rotation, and a potent offense that leads the AL in runs scored – so maybe the Rays can overtake the Yankees or Red Sox for a playoff spot. If Tampa is able to add a piece or two at the deadline, I’d bet they push the Yanks and Sox and probably overtake one for the AL Wild Card.

Sunday, Albert Pujols crushed two home runs, including a grand slam, in the first place Cardinals’ win over Kansas City. Pujols is singlehandedly carrying the Cardinals offense, but he may not be a Cardinalmuch longer. As Will Leitch pointed out on Tuesday, Pujols’ contract is expiring in a few years, and St. Louis may have trouble re-signing him, especially if Tony La Russa leaves. While Joe Mauer is the upcoming free agent who stands to rake in the largest future contract from a big market team, Pujols isn’t far behind, even at his advanced age. Imagine a Yankees team that, in 2011, starts Mauer and Pujols. Commence vomiting.

In the 21st time brothers were paired in a head to head pitching matchup, Jeff Weaver topped his brother Jared in the Dodgers' 6-4 victory over the Angels on Saturday night. While the matchup didn’t live up to the hype, as both pitchers departed before the sixth inning, the series between the Angels and Dodgers has lived up to the hype, as it’s been excellent baseball between the leaders in the AL West and NL West. Nobody’s calling for a future freeway World Series yet - the Angels injuries may doom them in the regular season or postseason - but these two teams have provided one of the better interleague series of the year.

Dontrelle Willis wasn’t able to carry his early momentum through the rest of the season, as he went back on the DL with another anxiety disorder, also known as “not being able to pitch in the major leagues due to suckitude.” Willis hasn’t been the only player DLed with an “anxiety disorder” – which, if true, can surely be cured in a 15 day DL stint – but he’s been the most prominent. Personally, and I’m definitely not alone in believing this, I think this rash of “anxiety disorders” is bullshit and just a creative way to avoid optioning Willis, and other similar players, to the minor leagues when they wouldn't clear waivers. Similarly, Alex Rodriguez was given a few days off this weekend due to “fatigue,” but at least the Yankees had the balls to put Rodriguez back in the lineup on Sunday in front of his hometown fans.

Felix Hernandez continued being a bright spot in an otherwise mediocre Mariners season. Tuesday night, Hernandez tossed a complete game shutout against the Padres, giving up two hits and four walks while striking out six. Hernadez hasn’t turned into the superstar pitcher he was projected to be when he was called up before his 20th birthday, but King Felix still consistently fun to watch, and he’s turned into a workhorse for Seattle.

The Red Sox placed Daisuke Matsuzaka on the DL today, meaning John Smoltz is coming back to the rotation for Boston. Smoltz has had one of the more interesting careers of any future Hall of Fame pitcher, successfully transitioning from very good starter to dominant closer and then back to starter. Smoltz won’t be the frontline starter he once was, but he doesn’t need to be. He’ll just need to contribute as a back end starter and keep his ERA under 5 for Boston to stem the tide of Dice K’s loss.

Twins This Week:

Kind of a shitty week for the Twins. Minnesota went 3-3 at home against the NL Central’s dregs, taking 2 of 3 from the Pirates before dropping two of three to the Astros. If the Twins are going to take the AL Central, they need to play better against the soft underbelly of their schedule.

The positives: Joe Mauer topped his career high in single season home runs on Saturday, and he’s still hitting well over .400; Kevin Slowey tied Roy Halladay for the AL lead in wins (despite an ERA over 4, which should tell you everything about the statistical value of wins); Michael Cuddyer looks to be over his finger injury; and Nick Blackburn threw another quality start.

Sunday, Justin Morneau got the day off because of general soreness, but this is probably a good time to point out that Morneau’s hitting .257/.316/.386 in June. Morneau will surely get back on track, but the Twins need him to do it sooner rather than later. They can’t afford another .700ish OPS guy in a lineup already populated by Nick Punto, Carlos Gomez, and Delmon Young.

Team of the Week:

Los Angeles Angels

The Angels are on quite the run, sweeping San Diego, San Francisco, and playing well against the Dogers. L.A. started the season slowly, but they’ve still hit well, with Torii Hunter, Juan Rivera, Chone Figgins and Kendry Morales posting decent lines, and the resurgent Bobby Abreu contributing as well. Jerad Weaver looks ike an ace, and Joe Saunders is pitching like a legit #2-3.

Anaheim should push Texas all year, and if I had to bet, the Rangers’ lack of pitching will doom them in the long run.

Position Player of the Week: Derrek Lee. A .409/.435/.1000 week for the Cubs first baseman, Lee put together a fantastic week in what’s been a solid 2009 for him. Whispers indicate Lee may be on the trade block if Chicago falls out of the race, but I wouldn’t expect Lee to go anywhere until the offseason.

Pitcher of the Week: Matt Cain. Cain shut down the powerful Ranger offense yesterday, tossing 8 innings while giving up three hits, three walks, and striking out eight. Cain is 9-1 on the season, with a 2.28 ERA and 1.21 WHIP. The WHIP indicates Cain won’t keep his ERA this low all season, but at this point Cain has to be one of the favorites to start the All Star game.

Fresh Face of the Week:

San Diego Padres 1B/OF Kyle Blanks.

Listed at 6’6, 280 pounds, the 22 year old Blanks is a power hitting prospect in every sense of the word. The comparison used most often is Frank Thomas, and the Padres would be lucky to have a player of Thomas’ caliber on the roster.

Even at his young age, Blanks has mashed at A and AA, and the Padres are clearly going to let him play after his promotion. Similar to Frank Thomas, Blanks has issues on defense, as would be expected from a man his size, and with Adrian Gonzalez entrenched at 1B for the Padres it looks like Blanks will have to break in as a LF.

If Blanks hits – and he does have some plate discipline problems - he’ll remain in the lineup no matter how poorly he is defensively, but in the meantime he should have a few adventures in the Petco OF.

Link of the Week: A Fangraphs piece on just how amazing Joe Mauer has been.

Top 5:

1. Los Angeles Dodgers. Nothing fazes this team.

2. Boston Red Sox. Can they really win a World Series with Nick Green at shortstop?

3. New York Yankees. They have to hope CC Sabathia’s arm injury isn’t anything serious.

4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays. They get the nod over the Blue Jays because the Rays are trending upward, whereas the Blue Jays are trending downward.

5. St. Louis Cardinals. Albert Pujols may be the best hitter you ever watch play. And that includes Joe Mauer.

Bottom 5:

26. Kansas City Royals. Outside of Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Washington, organizations aren’t run more poorly than the Royals.

27. Houston Astros. Even with their impressive performance in Minnesota, this team still isn’t very good.

28. Baltimore Orioles. They’ve been hot recently, and at least they can look forward to Matt Wieters.

29. San Diego Padres. That winning streak a few weeks ago was clearly a mirage.

30. Washington Nationals. Washington’s fire sale at the trade deadline should provide a modicum of interest for the few Nats fans still paying attention.

Upcoming Series of the Week:

St. Louis Cardinals @ New York Mets, Monday – Thursday.

St. Louis remains the N.L. Central leader, which is partially a testament to Tony La Russa. The Cardinals still don’t have much offense outside of Albert Pujols, and even the pitching depth isn’t great, but the Cardinals keep winning games. St. Louis’ 4 game set with the Mets is a rematch of the 2006 NLCS, and the matchup of two postseason contenders shouldn’t disappoint, even with the Mets’ recent slide.

Every honorable mention series is worth watching, too. Really, this is one of the best weeks of matchups of the young season.

Honorable Mention: NYY @ ATL, T-TH; CHC @ DET, T-TH; PHI @ TB, T-TH; MIN @ MIL, T-TH; MIN @ STL, FRI-SUN; NYY @ NYM, FRI-SUN.

Nationally Televised Games This Week:

Monday: STL @ NYM, 7:10, ESPN2
Wednesday: NYY @ ATL, 7:00, ESPN2
Saturday: BOS @ ATL, CHC @ CWS, LAA @ ARI, 4ish, FOX Regional
Sunday: BOS @ ATL, 1:00, TBS; NYY @ NYM, 8:05, ESPN.

Essentially, we get 4 different teams shown this week. Sure, the Yankees, Mets, and Sox are good, but do we really need to see the Braves three times? I’d like to see the Phillies-Rays, Cubs-Tigers, or Rockies-Angels series at least once.

Urban Dictionary Term of the Week:

Slampiece

"A derogatory term referring to a female booty call who is not girlfriend material or not worthy to take out on dates."

Alternative definition: "A fairly attractive female 'piece' that you can 'slam' in any particular way you'd like to. Commonly referred to as SLUT." Quote of the Week: Why’s he calling me meat? I’m the one driving a Porsche – Ebby LaLoosh.

Enjoy the games.

That's Why You Believe in Heroes

Kind of a slow sports day, unless you like no-name golfers at Bethpage. So instead of boring you with another rant about Gardy's incompetence (taking out Baker and inserting Henn to face the #8 hitter) or Punto's idiocy (injured sliding head first into first base), I thought I would give you some goosebumps, courtesy of an old Upper Deck commercial.

This Is A New One

ProFootballTalk.com is reporting that Brett Favre has already signed a contract with the Vikings, citing a member of the military who is currently stationed in Afghanistan!? PFT is considered one of the most legitimate and journalistic-type blogs, but using a member of the military as a source on National Football League contract negotiations?

We caught wind this morning of a tip from a very unusual source. A member of the military — an officer serving in Afghanistan — contacted us with two eyebrow-raising-nuggets that had made their way to him on the other side of the globe, from credible sources.

We pondered using it even without corroboration under the thinking that, if a guy in harm’s way would get a thrill by fooling us into using a Bradshaw-Is-Dead-style rumor, then we’d be glad to give him that thrill in exchange for the sacrifices he’s making for the rest of us.

Because, however, we’ll soon be working with a legitimate media organization (or, as the case may be, undermining its legitimacy), we decided to poke around a bit.

At least they explain themselves, unlike the MSM, who chooses to lead us to believe that all "sources" are legitimate members of the league or a franchise.

Regardless of the source, this tidbit is interesting, although not entirely surprising news. According to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, Favre's agent Bus Cook, is denying the story. Frankly, I'm trusting the military officer over Cook and Favre on this one. Those two haven proven to shoot as straight as a post-sex urination.

HT: MT Pundit for the Photoshop

Ricky Rubio is Legal

If you haven't heard of the barely legal Spanish point guard who has drawn comparisons to Pete Maravich by now, you will soon. Although some similarities between "The Pistol" and the young Spainard Ricky Rubio are apparent, Rubio's scoring ability is not on par with that of Maravich. With that said, Rubio is an extremely intelligent point guard with excellent court vision and will almost certaily be a Top 5 pick in this year's NBA draft pending his release from the pro Spanish team DKV Jouvetnut. Rubio made his international debut in the FIBA Europe Under-16 Tournament where he recorded three triple doubles and one quadruple double including the championship game versus Russia where he recorded 51 points, 24 rebounds, 12 assists, and 7 steals (Not bad). He followed this up a few years later in a loss against the US Olympic team and although his stats were not overwhelming, the composure he played with at the age of 17 versus the world's best earned him the respect of many on the US squad.

I was thinking of writing something about Ricky Rubio's potential for success in the NBA or the hurdles he has to overcome to buyout his contract, but that each been done elsewhere more thorougly than I care to replicate here. Essentially, he needs to improve his shooting and will be a distributor first and will be a great long-term addition for any of the top 5 teams, although he has voiced his discontent for Memphis. However, some blogs around the campfire think the Wolves might try to make a splash and trade up in order to select Rubio. This is likely just wishful thinking as Rubio would likely be a big improvement over Telfair at PG and the Wolves management will probably not pull the trigger. So, here is a youtube video of Rubio on some crazy Spanish show refusing to be statutorally raped.

Mark Jackson To Coach 'Wolves?

Yes, that Mark Jackson. The one who's currently an analyst, has zero coaching experience, and once appeared in the movie Eddie, which should be all you need to know about his judgment. From Pro Basketball News:

New Minnesota president of basketball operations David Kah, has gone on record in saying he won't look for a replacement for fired coach Kevin McHale until after the NBA draft, but multiple sources have told Pro Basketball News that Mark Jackson has emerged as the leading candidate for the position and will wind up with his first coaching gig.

Jackson, 44, has worked as a lead analyst on broadcasts for ESPN/ABC since 2007 and was linked to the New York Knicks opening filled by Mike D'Antoni last offseason. He's made no secret of his desire to coach in the NBA, telling reporters in Los Angeles just last week that it's "been a dream of mine, like anyone who's ever played the point guard position and has been the extension of the coach on the floor. I've been tempted to run a show my entire life."

Much more in that link.

Now, I'm not saying the T'Wolves have to hire a candidate with previous HEAD coaching experience. Bringing aboard a coach who failed elsewhere may work out some of the time, but it's not necessarily the best move.

But I would like to see the Wolves hire a young, smart assistant with actual coaching experience over an analyst with zero coaching experience, no matter how smart of an analyst Jackson may be. Maybe I'm crazy like that.

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NHL Makes Smart Decision, Still Has No Concept of Time

One of Gary Bettman's few good decisions made during his reign of terror has been the NHL's Winter Classic. Played on New Year's Day, the Winter Classic matches up two American teams in a game played in an outdoor stadium. In 2008, the game was played in Buffalo and featured the Penguins and Sabres, while in 2009 Chicago hosted Detroit at Wrigley Field. Both games were fun to watch, partially because it's always cool to see athletes competing in a snowfall, and the outdoor atmosphere made what would otherwise be just any regular season game feel like a special event.

The 2010 Winter Classic is scheduled to be played in Boston, with the Bruins hosting either the Flyers or Capitals (let's hope it's the Caps). In another excellent decision, the NHL is considering playing a second Winter Classic on New Year's Day, with Calgary hosting another Canadian team. A brief snippet:

It's true. The Calgary Flames are in talks about hosting an outdoor game on New Year's Day.

"I have heard discussions," said John Haverstock, manager of McMahon Stadium — the host venue for the event. "I guess it's a possibility, but to say it's close to reality is not correct. It's just so far been discussions.

"I think it would be very cool for the city. Logistically, it's possible. We had an artificial-ice surface at McMahon before at the closing ceremonies for the 1988 Olympics. So it can be done."

Flames owner Harley Hotchkiss, too, confirmed that the idea is being batted around.

According to one league source, the Flames would likely draw a Canadian opponent.

Now, I really like the idea of getting Canada involved. Those crazy fucking Calgarians (correct term? meh) would love this event, even if it would be like -38 degress at game time.

But, at the same time, I question the wisdom of the NHL scheduling these games for New Year's Day.

The NHL is attempting to make these games the showcase event of the regular season - at this point, the Winter Classic gets more publicity than the All-Star Game - yet the NHL schedules the games on a day that's already filled with college football. Yes, NHL diehards will still watch, but the casual fan, who Bettman needs to reel in if he ever wants to see the NHL's financial situation improve, probably has an easy decision to make between watching a regular season hockey game or a January 1st Bowl Game. And he's not choosing the hockey game.

I'd love to see the NHL shift the Winter Classic to a different day, and maybe even include a third game - say, play the first game at 1, the second game at 4:30, and the third game at 8. And do it on a day when there's not strong sports-viewing competition elsewhere. For example, play the NHL Winter Classic on the off weekend between the AFC/NFC title games and the Super Bowl.

Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I just don't see the Winter Classic pulling in the American viewers that Bettman desires when the Classic is pitted against the New Year's Day Bowl schedule. Bettman has a cool idea with the Classic, but like some of his other good ideas, he's executed it poorly.

Carlos Gomez's Problem Identified

Some people still wonder how Carlos Gomez, despite all of his natural ability, remains such a shitty hitter. Personally, I've always thought the main reason was his plate approach, specifically his plate discipline.

Well, here's a small tidbit on Gomez's mindset at the dish, from a Jim Souhan (ugh, what a fucktard) column:

"Go-Go just flails away," Gardenhire said of Gomez. "I don't know if he's a power guy or a speed guy, and I think he's caught right in between. He really believes he can hit it 10 miles, and he's not going to be satisfied with shooting it the other way. That's in his mind and until he decides that he has to use a little of both, he's going to do what he's doing.

I mean, holy shit. It turns out Carlos is just like the fat, whiny plump monkey who never stops talking: the girl actually believes her Dad when he says she's the most beautiful girl in the world and that any guy would be lucky to have her, despite (fudge) mountains of evidence to the contrary, while Carlos actually believes he's a power hitter, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.

If what Gardy says is true, it partially explains why Gomez still can't get on base at a decent clip. Gardy's statement doesn't completely confirm that Carlos will never be a productive hitter, but the statement does indicate that someone needs to take Gomez into their office and beat him like he's a Dominican cutting my grass instead of a Dominican playing baseball. Maybe then he'll stop flailing at pitches outside the strike zone.

If you want to read even more negative shit about the Twins, take in this Fangraphs piece which raises the valid question of: why in fuck would Gardy play Punto at 2B and Harris at SS?

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Steers and Queers

Cowboy Carl Crawford

On their recent road trip, the Tampa Bay Rays instituted a team-wide dress code. The theme is obviously a Western or Cowboy one, as evidenced by the Facebook photo gallery.

There are so many today who believe that baseball doesn't have the characters that the game used to have. Players like Manny and teams like the Rays don't get nearly enough credit for being quality people with some quirky tendencies. If only the mainstream media would give them their due.

McHale Not Returning To Minnesota

At least, that's what Kevin Love's saying, via his twitter:

Today is a sad day...Kevin McHale will NOT be back as head coach next season

No idea why Love didn't end his tweet with "yeah yeah."

McHale was a terrible GM, but he wasn't an awful coach. Still, the position could be upgraded, depending on who the Wolves bring aboard. One name being thrown around is Sam Mitchell, and....yeah, he's no better than McHale.

Then again, the Wolves aren't winning any championships next year, no matter who their coach is, so maybe it's better to hire a coach who can teach (as opposed to someone like Phil Jackson or Larry Brown, who are better technicians than teachers) and let the young players grow with him.

Addressing Joe Mauer's Batting Average

One of our writers – I’m guessing the GldnKnight – put up a poll last night asking what Joe Mauer’s final batting average will be. The poll’s author used 20 point increments, giving a decent margin for error.

Using basic batting average on balls in play metrics, it’s not all that difficult to estimate Mauer’s final batting average, assuming three things:

1. Mauer doesn’t end the season with some fluky batting average on balls in play

2. We can reasonably estimate his walk rate, strikeout rate, line drive rate, ground ball rate, and fly ball rate

3. He makes our estimated number of plate appearances.

Heading into last night’s game, Mauer had made 152 plate appearances in 41 games. This equates to roughly 3.7 plate appearances per game. The Twins have 96 games remaining. At 3.7 plate appearances per game, Mauer should make approximately 355 plate appearances through the rest of the year.

Mauer’s currently hitting .426. So, for his first 152 plate appearances, this is his batting average. Mauer has 67 hits in 156 at bats. We can use this data going forward.

Now, from Bill James’ numbers, the typical hitter bats about .725 on line drives. This is pretty consistent throughout major league hitters. Similarly, ground ball batting average is consistent throughout MLB, and sits around .240.

Fly ball batting average is the area that differs among major league hitters. Power hitters, like Ryan Howard, typically hit for a higher average on fly balls than speedsters like Carlos Gomez. It’s difficult to calculate a player’s batting average on fly balls, especially with the limited data available. Players who hit the ball harder are more likely to have a higher BABIP on fly balls. And, going off the limited Hit F/X data, Mauer hits the ball hard, but not otherworldly hard, so we shouldn't expect a stupid batting average on fly balls.

Mauer’s current batted ball stats are as follows:

	GB%	LD%	FB%	HR/FB%	BB%	K%
2009	44.4	21.5	34.1	28.3	13.6	13.8
Career	50.1	22.4	27.5	10.6	12.5	11.5

What immediately jumps out is Mauer’s increased HR/FB%. If this rate stays the same, Mauer’s batting average on fly balls should be much higher than it’s typically been, and would sit around the rates expected out of power hitters.

Over the course of his career, Mauer’s BABIP is about .120-.130 above his LD rate. Mauer’s current line drive rate is 21.5%, which is consistent with his career average. If his BABIP stays at this rate, we’d expect roughly a .340 BABIP over the course of the season. But for a player with Mauer’s power surge, we can up that estimate to about .355, just to err on the safe side and give Mauer the benefit of the doubt.

Mauer’s current walk rate is roughly 13.6%. This walk rate is semi-consistent with his career averages, so it’s safe to assume he keeps walking at his current rate. At this walk rate, Mauer should walk in roughly 48 out of 355 plate appearances, meaning he’ll make contact on about 307 of his remaining 355 plate appearances. These plate appearances where he makes contact affect his average, while the walks don’t affect his average, only his OBP.

So, if over the course of Mauer’s remaining 307 plate appearances where he won’t walk, Mauer hits line drives at his current rate, we’d expect a BABIP of about .355. Mauer’s currently striking out at a rate of about 13.8%, which is a bit above his career average. If those strikeouts regress to the mean a little, his strikeout rate should sit around 12%. Meaning that out of those 307 plate appearances that aren’t walks, Mauer would strike out about 37 times, so he’d put the ball in play 280 times. With these strikeouts, Mauer would have a batting average of .000, of course.

Now, on these 280 times where Mauer makes contact, he'd hit .355, assuming the BABIP estimate is correct. If Mauer hits .355 over 280 plate appearances where he makes contact and .000 on his 37 strikeouts, he’d collect about 100 hits in 307 at bats (we use at bats, not plate appearances, because we’re calculating batting average and disregarding walks).

To date, and including last night’s game, Mauer’s collected 67 hits in 156 at bats. Totaling these numbers, we arrive at Mauer finishing the season with 167 hits in 463 at bats (100 + 67 for hits, 307 + 156 for at bats), giving him a batting average of about.361 (167/463). The chart version:

	PA	AB	Hits	BA
Through 6/16	185	156	67	.426
Going forward	355	307	100	.326
Season Total	540	463	167	.361

Now, this is on the pessimistic side. The .326 projection would assume a significant slump from Mauer. For example, if Mauer hits .350 in his projected remaining 307 at bats, his final batting average would be about .375.

If Mauer keeps hitting for power, his batting average will probably be a bit closer to the .380 range, because his batting average on fly balls will be higher due to the increased HR/FB%. He may even approach .385 or .390. But it’s unlikely he hits .400 unless he increases his line drive rate or has an insane batting average on fly balls.

To hit .400, Mauer would need to collect about 186 hits in the projected 463 plate appearances, assuming his walk rates and strikeout rates stay as they were projectetd. This would mean Mauer hitting just over .385 the rest of the way, again assuming 355 plate appearances with 307 at bats and the projected walk and strikeout rates. Showing that Mauer needs to hit about .385 the rest of the season in order to finish with a .400 batting average should illustrate just how difficult it is to finish the season with a .400 average

I voted he’ll finish with a batting average between .360 and .380. If I had to optimistically guess, I’d say Mauer finishes with a batting average around .375, as I can see him hitting .350 throughout the remainder of the 2009 season. That's my gut feeling. You can use these numbers to put forth the same guess, or disregard them based on your gut feeling. The choice is yours.

(I realize BABIP doesn't include HRs, so I guess I'm assuming Mauer's HR rate doesn't adversely or positively affect his overall BABIP. But that's partially made up for by upwardly adjusting Mauer's BABIP to .355, as opposed to his career BABIP of .340. Projecting Mauer's HR/AB rate is pretty damn impossible right now, considering his power surge essentially goes against all of his career trends. Nevertheless, the HR thing would be my main quibble with this projection, although I think it's still fairly solid.)

A Weekend We'll Never Forget

Over a decade ago, my father and I embarked on a journey to Wrigley Field for our first visit to the friendly confines. It was the inaugural trip of our now semi-biannual baseball escapades to different stadiums across the country, but we didn’t actually get to see any baseball that day at the corner of Clark and Addison. A hellacious storm front moved into the Chicagoland area just before the first pitch and turned the daytime sky blacker than Usain Bolt. Our only consolation was that Harry Caray serenaded the crowd with “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” just after the game had been postponed. Needless to say, upon arrival to Chicago late Thursday night I was giddy about returning to Wrigley, especially considering we got to see the Twins play. I mean, how many times in a person’s lifetime can they say they saw their favorite team in any particular sport play at hallowed places like Old Yankee Stadium and Wrigley Field, let alone do it before the age of 25?? And to top everything off, we had scored some bleacher seats for Friday afternoon’s contest prior to our arrival in Chicago.

My two buddies and I got off the train and took our place in line for the bleachers at about 10:45 a.m. and ended up getting into Wrigley about 45 minutes later. We sprinted up the concourse (I fell harder than a Mexican climbing a border fence at Ciudad Juarez) and into the stairwell behind the left-center field stands, briskly walking down the stairs until we found a plot of seats in the fourth and fifth rows above the ivy. For those of you that do not know, the bleacher seats at Wrigley Field are still first come, first served….thus the reason for the sprinting. (Let’s hope Target Field and the Twins implement the General Admission policy to their sections of bleacher seats.) I know none of us were expecting to snag those types of seats when we saw the line already formed outside the stadium. FOURTH AND FIFTH ROWS ON A SUMMER DAY AT WRIGLEY??!!?! But anyway, the next couple hours prior to the opening pitch went something like this: batting practice, beer, batting practice, beer, bathroom, beer….and finally the game began, which is when my story turns from good to one I’ll never forget.

Before I get to the main point of this post, I have to mention a quick debate which we were having as we moved closer to entering the Friendly Confines that now looks like pure prophecy. The three of us were discussing whether to sit in right or left field and this exchange followed:

Friend 1: “Let’s sit in left field because that’s where the sun is most direct in the afternoon.”
Friend 2: “I just have a feeling that Mauer is going to hit a 2-run bomb in the 9th to take the lead and win the game…and I am going to get the ball.”
AJR26: “Yeah, and plus Mauer hits all of his home runs to left field anyways.”

Fast forward to the top half of the third inning, Friend 2 (who is actually IHS commenter FatDog) and I are sitting in both rows to save our friend’s seats while they get some PBR’s for the group. Joe Mauer comes up with a man aboard and works the count to two balls and one strike.

CRACK!!!

Off the bat, we both knew this ball was hit well. Then, as the baseball tailed closer and closer to the fence it became apparent that the ball was heading directly for us. FatDog and I both jumped, as the ball soared over my left hand, off the right palm of my friend and under the bleachers. A melee ensued. We both dove head first into the row above us, trying madly to find that piece of cowhide and stitching. Apparently, in the course of my dive, my elbow/arm caught FatDog square in the face which triggered a fierce bloody nose that would be prominently displayed and discussed around the Twin Cities for the next hours to come. To us, that didn’t matter. What mattered was finding that baseball. I suspect my friend was thinking there was no way in hell that he was losing that baseball after it had already stung his bare hand...and he didn’t.

After grabbing a woman’s purse and clutching an empty beer cup but not the baseball, I heard a scream from FatDog, looked up and saw the baseball in his outstretched (and later bruised) arm. We immediately hugged it out. The crowd called for him to throw it back, but we both told the Cubs’ faithful to shove it because we were not throwing a homerun ball from our best player back onto the field in the name of “tradition”. That’s when I spotted the blood running down FatDog’s face and proceeded to use my ticket stub as a gauze patch, which worked about as well as the levees that protected the Lower Ninth Ward. The Cubs event staff noticed the blood and quickly came to FatDog’s assistance and escorted him to first aid behind the concourse, just as my other friends were returning from their beer run. They could not believe what had taken place when they were out, nor could the people texting and calling FatDog about seeing him blooded on television.

Couple our experience with the fact that the Twins played a solid game and beat the Cubbies 7-4, and I do not know what could have made the day any better. To be honest with you, it’s four days later and I still cannot believe what happened. I guess that’s how a weekend in Chicago at Wrigley Field becomes one you’ll tell your kids about.