Eat, Eat, Eat, and Eat Some More

On behalf of everybody here at IHS, I want to wish our dozen readers a Happy Thanksgiving. Sadly, there will be no Droppin' the Anchor this year due to lack of time because of my increased Turkey Day travels, but I will leave you with this brand-spankin-new Thanksgiving Rap.

Who ya got? 2009 Turkey of the Year

One of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving Day besides the mid-afternoon food coma is Patrick Reusse's Turkey of the Year column in the Star Tribune. For the last thirty-two years, "Fat Pat" has annually provided a good laugh while highlighting the sporting world's and/or Minnesota's biggest douchebag of the year.

I am not going to attempt to write my own column. That would be more of a joke than my stadium tour or Metrodome Moments pieces. Rather, I want to present a list of the possible finalists and ask that you vote for who you believe has earned the 2009 Turkey of the Year.



AJR26's contenders:





Mr. Royce White - The consensus favorite. Minnesota's reigning Mr. Basketball and top recruit of Tubby Smith and the Gophers has managed to grab the headlines without ever stepping on the floor. His shoplifting and assault of a mall cop at the Mall of America was a second strike against a player who has a history of behavioral problems. As if that weren't enough,"Rolls" Royce has been named as a person of interest in an on-campus theft of a laptop. Can you say Isaiah "J.R." Rider without the "East Bay Funk Dunk"?







Mr. Tim Brewster - Always a worthy nominee. His coaching problems have been covered numerous times on this blog and he apparently has a supporter in the Star Tribune's blogging community for this prestigious award.

Mr. Joe Nathan - A borderline finalist which could be the front runner in 2010 if his career continues on the decline. The Twins most overpaid player makes the list solely due to his postseason bedshitting against the Yanks. Don't believe he belongs?...check his postseason stats.

Mr. Brett Favre - Say what? Yes, after his long drawn out saga which reestablished him as professional sports' top diva, America's favorite gunslinger makes the list. Wrangler's #1 spokesman just slips into a finalist spot even though his researgence has helped the Vikings to a 9-1 record.

Mr. Don Lucia - Continues to search for his first Turkey Award after being a finalist each of the last four years. After missing the NCAA tournament last year, it was impossible to think the Golden Gopher hockey program could get much worse. Let me tell you, they are trying their damnest to prove me wrong and Lucia is the one who should shoulder the blame. Could be the sleeper selection.

Others? - Think the 2009 TotY will come from outside this accredited group? Your comments and nominees are welcome....REMEMBER TO VOTE IN THE SIDEBAR!!!

Droppin the Anchor: It's Sink or Swim for Punky in 2010

For all intents and purposes, the Golden Gophers' 2009 season ended two weeks ago with their uninspiring 35-32 loss to Illinois at the Bank. This loss, arguably the worst of the Tim "Punky" Brewster Era, put Minnesota's biggest windbag on the hot seat and his squad responded with an even worse performance at home against FCS "titan" South Dakota State.

Even prior to the epic battle with the Jackrabbits which resulted in a 16-13 win, Brewster's resume looked more like Jim Wacker's and less like Glen Mason's. Punky's record at Minnesota currently sits at 14-22, with two of the 14 victories over FCS programs and devistating losses against NDSU, Northwestern, and of course the 55-0 debacle at the dome last year versus the Hawkeyes. In addition, Brewster is 0-7 in rivalry games against Iowa, Michigan and Wisconsin. Thus, barring an upset that earns Minnesota the Floyd of Rosedale trophy in Iowa City this weekend, one can bet that Punky's lack of job security and bloggers calling for his firing will continue into the 2010 season.

If you're one of those in Gopher Nation which drinks the Kool-Aid about Punky, let me be clear in saying that 2009 has been Brewster's worst coaching job in the three years he's been at the helm at the U. And yes, that includes the 1-11 debacle in year one. This team is a terrible college football team and the fact they are going to play in the Little Caesars Bowl in Detroit is a travesty. If you don't believe me, then look at the stats both in the Big Ten (11 teams) and the entire FBS (120 teams).

Offense: Scoring (10th/88th), Total Offense (11th/112th), Passing (7th/78th), Rushing (11th/107th), Penalties (11th/79th), 3rd Down Conversion (11th/75th)

Defense: Scoring (8th/70th), Total Defense (9th/79th), Passing (10th/71st), Rushing (7th/74th), Opponents 3rd Down (10th/111th)

Now I am no statistician, but the Gophers do not rank in the top half of the Big Ten or the NCAA in any of these catagories. THAT IS UN-FUCKING-BELIEVEABLE. Basically, this team is futile on both sides of the ball with the offense and more specifically the offensive line being the most pathetic part of the team. Now, I wrote at the beginning of the season if Brewster could match his 2008 record of 7-5 that it would be a success and I still believe that...but it ain't gonna happen. I don't care how hurt Kirk Ferentz's squad is heading into the season finale, there is no chance the Gophers pull off an upset at Kinnick Stadium.

After Saturday's massacre at Kinnick, where we hope no married moms and horny guys get together in the handicap stall, what will the future (beside the bowl game) hold for Brewster and the Minnesota program mired in mediocracy?

We'll first off, Punky is not going anywhere. With that being said, I believe 2010 will be judgement year for Coach Brewster and his rhetoric. And it should be. A coach should get at least four years to maximize the opportunities they get with the players they've recruited in the schemes and philosophy they're comfortable coaching. If they fail to produce results by/in year four, then there are no excuses or others to blame.

So what will 2010 have in store for the Gophers???? Here is their slate:

at Middle Tennessee State

South Dakota

Southern California

Northern Illinois

Northwestern

at Wisconsin

at Purdue

Penn State

Ohio State

at Michigan State

at Illinois

Iowa

I have gone through this schedule many times and I struggle to convince myself that the Gophers have a legitimate shot at winning more than seven games. With a stronger than normal non-conference schedule, I think seven games would be acceptable provided one of those seven victories was earned against Wisconsin or Iowa. If Punky gets to seven wins without a win against the U's biggest rivals, then that means he will be 0-10 after four seasons those contests and would likely be shown the door.

Onto the games...

FBS: #25 California at #17 Stanford

Golden Bears 31 Cardinal 41

Runner Up: #11 Oregon at Arizona

FCS: #5 William & Mary at #4 Richmond
Tribe 26 Spiders 20

Division II: 2nd Round Playoffs - #6 Nebraska-Kearney at #3 Minnesota-Duluth

Lopers 27 Bulldogs 42

Division III: #7 Mary Hardin-Baylor at #6 Central (Iowa)
Crusaders 14 Dutch 16

Check Out The New Digs!

On Monday in the Crystal Court at the IDS Center the Twins unveiled their new uniforms to compliment the new ballpark for 2010. It looks like the organization ditched the pinstripes on the road in favor of gray ones with Minnesota. I think I like the new look, but I'll have to wait to see them in action. However, I do think Denard looks superb in the throwback unis the Twins will be sporting for Opening Day, April 12th, and Saturday home games.

It's like AJR26 circa his senior year of college

Via Shutdown Corner:

Jared Allen should definitely stick to his day job, but I have to admit that skit was pretty damn funny. Plus, speedlines AND a dirty mullet???? SIGN ME UP.

Gomez for Hardy

The Twins have traded away centerfielder Carlos Gomez to the Brewers in exchange for shortstop J.J. Hardy.

Snap analysis is that this makes sense in terms of filling out the lineup card. Span will obviously become entrenched in center, Cuddyer in right, and thus leaving Delmon and Kubel to platoon in left while the other DHs or sits. Obviously, this means its likely the Twins don't resign Cabrera or go after any other free-agent shortstops and Hardy becomes their everyday shortstop.

I think the ceiling remains too high for Gomez for this to be a logical trade from the Twins perspective, I would have rather had a Young for Hardy deal. Sadly, only time will tell.